Posted by: Maggie | November 4, 2007

Psalm 18

Tonight the pastor used a Psalm found in 2 Samuel…a Psalm of David.  It’s repeated as Psalm 18 (-22).  It was awesome to me because in such a heavy week of “the Lord taketh away”, it reminded me how “the Lord giveth”.  He gave us that Psalm when my son was born and almost lost.  We have no doubt that a spiritual war was waged for his life.  Much was accomplished.  Much was endured.  I was on total bedrest for 2 months with that first child.  And when I had him, he was a big ‘ole boy…9 pounds 6 ounces.  The night before my last OB visit, with still a week to go, my skin literally breaking open from having zero elasticity left, that baby started flailing within me.  It HURT!  If I knew what I know now, I would have gone on in that night, awakened my husband, and had it checked.  But, I didn’t want to be a wimp and had had early contractions for months.  I wanted to wait until it was “time”…for sure.

Do you have warning signals you ignore because you aren’t at “the worst of the worst”?  Don’t. 

The umbilical cord got wrapped around his neck, and he was fighting for life as I prayed and journaled and cried and hurt…for myself, and for him.

He was born a hard bunch of painful hours later with the worst natural labor the nurses on the floor said they’d ever seen.  Yes, I’m sure all women like to say that, but that’s just what a few nurses did say!  Don’t take it from me!  They all wanted me to take something to back it off, but that baby was just so big for me!  I did, and got a little rest in the dead of the night before he was born a few hours later.  And it’s a good thing because I needed some serious pushing.

God was good.

But, the baby was born grey, still, quiet, and not breathing.  A round, grey, log.  The next night, after a lot of extraordinary effort several times to keep him alive, as well as some serious God-timing not un-noticed by us, God gave us Psalm 18–my husband opened his Bible straight to it. 

I still cry reading it…as I did tonight.  It was just what we needed after we got the diagnosis probability, the cord wrapped around his neck, resulting in sepsis (infection in the bloodstream) and double pneumonia at birth.  “The cords of death entangled me”…”but, you drew me out of the deep waters into a spacious place”…”from enemies too much for me”…”and God was angry”…”and came down”…”and thundered.  Lightening bolts scattered at the breath from his nostrils”…”he saved me because he delighted in me”… (the short version isn’t nearly as good as the Psalm, but you get the idea).

My!  How I DO love that Psalm!

—-

In any case, back to present, I’ve taken a bit of a break from 90 days this week.  My spirit just needed some breathing room.  I don’t even know if I’ll try to catch up.  I may just pick up where I left off, or add a Psalm or two a day to my scheduled reading until I catch up…that sounds good.

In college, when my grandmother died, I had to keep studying through tears, through the funeral in the car, preparing for exams that were best to take on schedule that week. 

Grief often doesn’t give us time.  Life has to go on sometimes, despite our emotion.  But, this week, I chose to slow down and rest a while.  It just seemed right to stop for a while and reflect on the Psalms God was writing today…many to note in blogs, reflections…some read by just observing. 

Blessings,
Maggie

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Responses

  1. Thank you so much for such an awesome post. What a scary time that you went through but what an awesome God we serve.

    I am behind but trying to do a little each day even though it isn’t the full 12 days. I don’t think I’ll ever catch up… might take 4 months to do, but hey! 4 months is still better than not having tried at all.

    Big hugs sister! It’s been a long week and you deserved a little breathing room.


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